I have a challenge for you. Try to explain why you’re who, what, or where you are in your life (personal or professional) without blaming someone else.
Go ahead. I’ll wait.
If you can, you must be an absolute saint because, I’ll be honest, I can’t. I can usually pinpoint a time in my life where it feels better and easier to play the blame game than to take my share of the responsibility. Sure there may have been an incident that caused the ball to start rolling, but after a while, you start to notice that you’ve kept it rolling out of habit.
Quitting the blame game and moving forward doesn’t have to be an episode of Iyanla. Here are some easy and somewhat pain-free steps to owning up to your sh*t.
Find The Lesson and Learn It
This is and always will be the first step. You can’t make progress until you figure out what lesson can be learned and surrendering to it. Instead of looking at your problem as something to feel ashamed of, try to find out how overcoming it can help you grow.
Consider That You May Have Created This Mess Yourself
Sure, there may be other people who contributed to where you are, but could you have done anything differently? Could you have changed anything? Are you allowing this problem reside in your life just so you can have something to be upset about? Be honest.
Change Your Perspective
Try to view the situation with a new pair of eyes. Maybe there’s another way to interpret what happened. What could you have done differently? Try to see things from another point of view.
Let It Go
Now that you’ve identified the role you’ve played and learned your lesson, forgive yourself and move on. What’s done is done and you can’t change it, but you can choose to grow from it and move forward feeling confident that should you find yourself in the same situation again, you’ll be able to handle it calmly and gracefully.